Past Poems

Crooked

Swimming in a sea of holes
Breathless answers waiting for
Devine admired creatures still
Reaching through another chance
To float upon an empty view
Listless... Pointless... Askew

Back to Nicholas

When I woke today
I knew this wasn't me
Stranded in the shelter of someone else
I took it as a sign
This icicle princess
Only wears her pointy shoes
Who knew
She wants it to stick
When she kicks you on your way down
She spins around laughing
"You were always so weak."
I said,"So tell me where I am."
"Honey, you've always known that."
She's my captain
The leader of this crew
She says I need to grow up
Somehow I know she's right
Always caring for someone else
When I was all that mattered
Then my dream was shattered
Into a million crystal pieces
I must leave this
Leave it all behind me
I can't seem to find me
Drifting through this mess
So she took my hand
And said follow me
"Follow me back to Nicholas."
The porch looks the same
Cold and lonely leather chair
Inside a mammoth screams
Spilling over with hate
But it was too late
I've already forgotton
How it used to be
This wasn't me...
And I grew from those cracks
The cracks in the wall
When we were so small
But that's how it was supposed to be
Yes, this is me
And she agreed.

The difference

Unexplainable painful minds
unaware of life as ruler
of all existance maturing
into mysterious creatures
with feelings masked by anger
Pangs of prideful injustice
Simpleminded doings
Race being an issue
has no environmental cure
Their confusions lack knowledge
Colorful eyes of curiosity
soak ignorance like sponges
Will we see the difference?



Too fast

Pushing it's way to the finish line
Life exceeds many goals
Moving too fast, busying itself
With lists of nonsense
Never does it stop to make you aware of
Exactly what's been absent
"Gotta keep moving. No time to talk."
Skimming through the minds of Americans
Too caught up in tasks
That still occur after we're gone
Until it's too late to hold on
I have no innocence in this
But I won't do it anymore
Life can't push me around
Work is work, Love is love
And love will be there
To carry me close
And comfort my soul



Sleeping with Spiderman

Wait. Stop. Listen...
Just this once
Who do you think you are
Walking away like that
As if I never mattered
You were only in it for yourself
You never gave a damn
Only when you wanted a piece
A piece of myself
So you could play dress up
Pretend you were happy
With a smile painted on your face
Sleeping with Spiderman
Did he ever find out
That all you were was someone else
Almost never yourself
Demanding something different
Something free
But you weren't like me
Competing endlessly
For a chance to belong
To some fantasyland
One not of your own
Now who's alone?

The Hallway

This House of Leaves
With it's dark, long passages
That breathe, expand and form
Change perceptions of the lives inside

Followed voices underground
Flare to life imagined sounds
Echoing into entropy
Further down the spiraled path

Degeneration of oneself
Curiously binding needs
Predicting full velocity
Towards creation of energy

Invisible

Only a picture now
A memory of her
Lightly tucked inside a corner
Behind the blue glass of yesterday
Instantly I smile
And remember a time
When it was better
Stitched back together
On hope as fine as silk
Upon a tiny cobweb
Of a delusional dream
Does it seem to be
Insvisible to reality?



3 Parts of Her

Didn't think it was time
Til you turned and waved goodbye
How could I have been so blind?
Why did it come to this?

One day we're laughing
Having the time of our lives
Sipping on iced cold lemonade
Til your renegade stole it away

Those hidden agendas tucked inside
A secret lie of childish rhymes
Suicide girl, depression stings
Stings enough to make you sing

Make me sing of sweet sangrias
Of time spent without you
Instant happiness comes to mind
Pills you took to hide that pride

My siren screams furiously
A hand written letter, how lovely
Lost your courage, lost your style
Found it in my pocket, after a while

I don't want this, here you go
Take it from me, before I blow
They say you're green, Is it true?
Was it just envy taking over you?

2 little fishies swim in circles
Chasing what they truly are
Fantasy island, a hidden life
Strange little girl running far
Can't grasp your own reality
Nothing concealed under these stars
Rummage through old photographs
Did he find them? Were you charged?
Searching for something, anything
Fears and lies of other scars.



Cardinal Call

I was awakened by a cardinal call
The variable songs of courtship duets
As I lay and pondered their beautiful rhymes
I dreamt of spring, of sun sublime
The squall shattered petals and carried through rain
Drops of it splattered on the side of my windowpane
Grieving quietly to soften the ground
The gust it blew those little birds around
Twisting and spinning, flapping those wings
The storm it lifted and those creatures were singing
Then this hand reached down from above
And grabbed the birds and crushed their souls
The one cardinal screamed,"What's happening here?"
While the other said calmly,"Don't worry, my dear."
This hand, it took them, far from the clouds
Where they were released to fly and continue their song
Melodies, mixed harmonies sift through my ears
I awake once more, with a new sense of relief
This time I stand and put my feet to the ground
I step to the window and sure enough, there they are
Those two, little, love birds lay still with no sound.

New skin.

Beautifully accepting
Intangible movements through
Abstract thoughts appearing
Incredibly vague, seek
Important resolutions, behind
Pragmatic theory which kills
Gratuitous emotion while
Unconsciously awaiting arrival of
New skin.

Your Catalyst

poor fragility needs stability
hearts on sleeves of growing hunger
imagine musings shattered wonder
slip passed fingertips
gently reaching outward for
humble beginnings
trapped behind closed doors
whisper still those lullabyes
painting grins upon your face
looking up to open skies
hoping for the chance at freedom
bored to death with optimism
chances taken from afar
reckless hearts, left a scar
turn a cheek when love walks in
this is now your catalyst.

Words Can Mean Anything.

Life
Beauty
Comfort
Pain
Pretty
Dizzy
Gentle
Rain
Stillness
Speaks
Peaks
Beneath
Shudder
Strength
Sad
Relief
Tiny
Fingers
Reaching
Far
Hearts
Sleeves
Open
Door
Sparks
Fly
Love
Sings
Bitter
Verses
Sweetly
Sting

Left Untouched

you've been warned
yet you dare not leave
these secret messages
whispered softly on my tongue
why won't you run?
save yourself from me
i'll only cut you down
burning bridges that once held us
safe and warm inside, blinded
by anything unreal, unnoticed
did it slip your mind?
this thing i once was
willing to hold onto every last breath
every laugh... your spark
left untouched.



Repeat

Old man
so quiet...
...so still
until
his coffee hits his lips
sip...
swallow...
...repeat
staring out the window
at buzzards eating carcasses of roadkill
...eyes shift
notices me noticing him
and i look away...
too sad to smile at such a hopeless being
(people are just people so they say)
wondering if I give off
similiar vibes
of lonliness
as I stare out the window
at empty carcasses...
til the coffee burns my lips
sip...
swallow...
...repeat

Just Be 

You drown in yesterday
with no air to breathe
I live for today
floating by on every minute
just being...me
Your lion fighting my bearer of all things
seems I'm stronger
when it comes to times like these
I may be tired
probably losing ground
but that doesn't mean anything
particularly...
Try not to wallow
for I do not wallow
and personally
it gets you nowhere...
Quit swimming
Just be.

Chameleon-like 

Your chameleon-like tendencies wrap you in blankets of someone else
waiting for the world to notice your name
in this game you play to show how cool you are today
leaving us to despise the flakiness facade
when all you want is to be needed and all you need is to be wanted
by someone who'll change you for a month, maybe two
til they figure it all out
after peeling back those layers of anything but you...
Later, you may realize that even you don't know who you are or how it got to this point.