It's Pumpkin Season!

I LOVE Fall and I especially LOVE using pumpkin whenever I can. I keep about 4 cans handy at all times. I even feed it to my dogs every day for breakfast. Not only is it a great ingredient but it's also good for you because it's loaded with vitamins A and C, beta carotene, potassium, zinc and fiber. Below I have included a few recipes using pure pumpkin. Enjoy!

Pumpkin Pancakes (makes 6-8)

1 1/2 cups of Mrs. Butterworth's buttermilk complete pancake mix

1/2 cup pure pumpkin

1 tsp ground cinnamon

1 tsp pumpkin pie spice

1 tsp vanilla extract

1/2 cup coconut milk (or any kind of milk you prefer) may have to add a little more depending on how thick you like your pancakes 

1 tbls organic vanilla yogurt 

Mix together and cook as directed. 

Pumpkin Butter

1/4 cup pure pumpkin

1 tbls butter or margarine

sprinkle of cinnamon

sprinkle of pumpkin pie spice

1 tbls honey

sprinkle of sugar 

Microwave for about 30 seconds, stir and enjoy. Refrigerate and use within a week or 2. 

Pumpkin Pie Milkshake

2 scoops Edy's double vanilla ice cream

2 tbls cup pure pumpkin (add more or less to taste)

tsp pumpkin pie spice

add whatever kind of milk you prefer depending on thickness and blend together

top with whipped cream and a sprinkle of cinnamon

Creamy Pumpkin Pie

1/2 cup cold milk

1 pkg (6 servings) Instant Vanilla Pudding

1 tsp pumpkin pie spice

1 cup canned pumpkin

2 1/2 cup Cool Whip

1 ready pie crust

Beat milk, pudding and spice with wire whisk for about 1 minute until thickened

Whisk in pumpkin

Stir in Cool Whip with rubber spatula 

Spread in crust and refrigerate for 2 hours before serving

Apple butter Pumpkin Pie

1 cup apple butter

1 cup pure pumpkin

1/2 cup brown sugar, packed

1/2 tsp salt

3/4 tsp ground nutmeg

3/4 tsp ground cinnamon

1/8 tsp ginger

3 eggs, beaten

3/4 cup evaporated milk

9 inch unbaked pie shell

1 egg white, beaten

whipped cream for topping

Preheat oven for 425 degrees and place oven rack on lowest position.

Combine apple butter, pumpkin, brown sugar, salt and spices in bowl

Stir in eggs

Gradually add milk and mix well with electric mixer

Brush pie shell with egg white, coating lightly

Pierce holes in bottom of crust

Pour above mix in bottom of shell and bake for 15 minutes then lower temperature to 350 degrees and bake for 35 minutes or until center is slightly puffed and jiggles slightly when pan is tapped

Cool til slightly warm and serve with whipped cream and cinnamon

Easy Pumpkin Dip

1 cup pure pumpkin

1 cup whipped cream

1 tsp pumpkin pie spice

Mix together and dip graham crackers in as an easy snack! You could also add cream cheese and more pumpkin to thicken it up. 

Pumpkin Corn Muffins

1 box of Jiffy corn muffin mix

add about 2 tbls of pure pumpkin to the other ingredients and make as directed on box

Pumpkin Cupcakes

1 box vanilla cake mix

add about 1/2 cup pure pumpkin, tsp cinnamon, tsp pumpkin pie spice and make as directed on box

Dog's Breakfast

1 tbls pure pumpkin

1tbls canned Chicken Soup for the Dog Lover's Soul Adult formula

Put in microwave for 15 seconds and then add less than the regular serving of Chicken Soup for the Dog Lover's Soul Adult dog food

Inner Calm

I'm positive I've found my inner calm. Life is happening all around me and I've managed to go through the steps of being present in the moments and also knowing how to calm myself if I feel it slipping out of my reach. Here is a list of things that help keep me at peace:

1. Deep breathing. I've tried a few different ways to breathe but the one that helps me the most is breathing inward for a count of 4 and out for 6 and repeating at least 3 times.

2. Along with the breathing sometimes I will repeat anything that I am wanting to achieve in my waking life. Lately it's been the phrase, "I want inner calm."

3. My favorite mantra is saying and repeating, "I am healthy, I am  happy, and I feel amazing," and smiling whilst doing so.

4. Look in the mirror and smile or make a funny face.

5. Listing everything I love during an overwhelming situation always calms me down.

6. Exercise, duh. Some of you probably roll your eyes at that one, but if you've never tried it or felt the amazing high you get after, then you have no idea how much this could be helping you in so many different areas of your life.

7. Hugging my husband, which I don't do enough of. He's a way better hugger than I am.

8. Doing anything with Jaida and getting the sense that she's happy to be spending time with me.

9. When everyone is home and we have just eaten dinner and sit down together to relax in front of the tv, I look around and realize that these are the moments that matter and this is why I wake up every day. I know tv is unhealthy and we could be doing other things, which we do, but to me, everything feels like it's in it's proper place when we are all together and calm like this.

10. My nightly dose of Candy Cane Lane Decaf Green Tea with a teaspoon of sugar.

11. Making music mixes to enjoy on my way to work or sharing with friends.

12. Baking, which I haven't been doing lately, except for the gajillion cookies we ordered from fundraisers, this year.

13. Texting certain friends. I'm not big on phone conversations and often feel uncomfortable trying to find things to talk about. Again, unhealthy, but for me it's easier.

14. Laughing. Wednesday nights are my favorite because we have family tv night where we watch some pretty hilarious shows together. No matter how I'm feeling that first laugh eases any stress away instantly.

15. Reading a good book.

16. Writing in my journal and lately blogging has been a great outlet for me.

17. Donating to the needy. There is nothing quite like the feeling of giving.

18. Playing and cuddling with my dogs and cat.

19. Painting or crafting, both of which I have been lacking.

20. Cleaning. I think that runs in the family. :)

21. Being grateful for everything in my life and knowing that I am lucky to be able to experience so much.

As you can see there are a lot of things that have helped in all facets of my life to bring me peace. There isn't any reason why I should be feeling any other way when I have so much to be thankful for in this world.  Perhaps this list will come to be helpful to many of you. May you find your inner calm as I have found mine.

Things Are Looking Up

Since my last post I've made a few major steps toward living past my everyday thinking habits. Towards the end of our vacation I ventured out to the pet store with my family, so Jaida could replace one of her beloved hermit crabs. I allowed myself to be there fully instead of rushing her in what to pick out and we even let her choose a few more items for their habitat. Then, Dan and I stopped by Walmart to drop off and decide on a new Red Box movie. I figured while we were there we might as well purchase some things we needed. Again, there was no rushing or feeling that I needed to hurry and get out of there. It genuinely felt good. No, the trip wasn't a long one and we were home within the hour, but to me, it felt like an accomplishment. I was happy to agree to go without any stipulations and it turned out to be a great experience.

Next up came talking myself into having to go back to work. I felt a little anxious the night before, but eventually it died down and I was able to relax. The work week flew by, as it often does. I made a few trips to the grocery store with no inner problems to talk down and yesterday I told myself I would live the day to it's fullest and I truly feel that I did just that. We visited with my mom, whose birthday is coming up and then we played four rounds of basketball down at the park. Sure, it seems small to most of you, but to me, it's a big deal and to me, it was a wonderful feeling being able to do little things like that with my family and feel good being in those moments.

Today, I am enjoying my quiet morning while Jaida is off at school and Dan is working. At 1pm I have an eye doctor appointment, which I'm sure you've already guessed has put ideas in my mind about the trip. I know it won't last all day and I know what to expect so I should be fine. That's how a normal person would think. No, actually, a normal person wouldn't even think about it, they would go, no questions asked. Me, I have to envision driving there, getting out of my car, waiting to be called back, and then the whole ordeal of the doctor checking my eyes. That's how my brain works. I wanted it to be different today. I wanted to wake up and go about my morning, get everything I wanted to get done at home, get ready and just go. Instead I'm blogging about a stupid optical exam. Seriously? These are the steps I have to take on a daily basis. I have to focus on small things to keep my mind in control and stop it from wandering into dark territory. The reality? I go to my appointment, my eyes are fine, I order my contacts and I'm on my way back home in a matter of a half hour, being able to relax for the rest of my day off. Nothing lasts forever. This trip won't last forever and neither will this over thinking/over analyzing situation. I have to take it one day at a time, living in the moment and focusing on the good. If I dissected my life right now, with these baby steps I've been taking, I'd say things are looking up. Life is good and every day I am grateful for everything I have and I will be fine.


Update: I wanted to let you all know that I went to my exam, sweaty palms and all, and everything turned out great! Then, instead of high tailing it home I decided since I was out I might as well make the most of it, so I deposited a few checks at the bank, stopped at Walmart to get a few things, and then went to Culligan to fill up one of our 5 gallon jugs. Never once did I rush and aside from being nervous at my appointment everything else happened with ease. It's the little things like this that add up. Now I will enjoy the rest of my day off and relax. :)

Afraid of Everything

I try to trace back to where it began, why I allowed fear to grasp a hold of me. A fear so suffocating that I was afraid to leave my own home. This thing inside of me blindly guiding me through life, making me miss the little details that add up to the big picture. I stopped wanting to go out to eat with my family, something we often enjoyed doing together. I hate grocery shopping and would make quick stops before or after work to avoid having to do a large trip for everything we needed for the week. I made lists in the hopes that my husband would offer to go for me and unburden me with the feeling that I wouldn't be able to walk all the way through the store without panicking and needing to escape. Even now I have to talk myself into doing things I can easily get out of for fear of the unknown. It's sad, I know. But I can't tell you how or why this was ever a crutch in my existence.

Back in August I had a terrible bout of anxiety and stress due to a few uncontrollable events that literally wore my entire body out. It lasted a few days and finally I decided that this couldn't be my life anymore. I couldn't sit by and literally watch everything fade into the past. I needed to get a hold on what was making me feel this way so I decided that whatever was lying within me was a result of what I was bringing to me with my thoughts and actions. I practiced deep breathing, started a gratitude journal, confided in my husband and friends, used exercise as an outlet, read The Power by Rhonda Byrne, and began my journey to worry free days ahead. Admittedly, this helped out a ton. I had to learn to live in the present and be more patient and list the things I loved rather than what was getting me down. Complaining wasn't even in my vocabulary and I tried my hardest to not let others complain around me. Needless to say I have had some great past few months because of these changes. Not once did I fall victim to my old habits or let outside influences make me feel bad. Then came our much needed vacation...

Out of the past 6 days I have left my home a total of 3 times. Once, to my mom's across the street to get my niece, down to the park to play basketball with Dan and Jaida, and last night's yearly trick or treating event in our neighborhood. This may sound completely idiotic but most of that was due to the food recalls I wrote about earlier in the week. It crippled me with fear that I would fall ill and my entire vacation would be ruined. All week my husband made trips to the grocery store per lists I left on the counter. I was even going to go myself, before Jaida got home from school and instead talked myself out of it, again. Yesterday, I did everything on my mental list leading up to trick or treat with our daughter. I started feeling a little less than perfect. Nauseous and nervous to be exact. This started right after my shower. I chalked it up to my contacts, which I haven't worn all week. I took them out, made dinner, painted Jaida's face and we left to collect candy from the neighborhood houses. It was cold, but I felt fine. Jaida met up with her friend and relieved us to our nice, warm home. I didn't think about the way I was feeling. Instead I got ready and just went. I still felt a little off when we got home but I settled and eventually felt fine the rest of the night until it finally came down to sleeping...

This morning I awoke still tired from not getting a decent night's sleep. I was groggy and instantly irritated that it would effect my entire day. I made my coffee, which wasn't that good, took the dogs out, fed them, and sat down to start my day. As I drank my last drop I pulled out my journal and decided instead to be grateful for this life I am allowed to live. I have an amazing family who is perfectly healthy. We have a nice home in a great neighborhood. We have pets to bring joy and love to us all. Our jobs bring in more than enough money to be able to afford good food and all of life's necessities. We have everything we need and very little stress to worry about. There is absolutely no real reason why I should be feeling any other way than happy to be able to live this wonderful life every day with these amazing people surrounding me. So why would I just sit back while it all passes me by? Who in their right mind would allow something that once felt so real and so scary to envelope their entire being? No one. Except for me, apparently. Aside from trying to focus on the positive I couldn't quite shake this overwhelmingly sad feeling I was having. I broke down a few times this morning just asking myself why. I wanted to hug my husband, cry and tell him exactly how I was feeling, because I haven't been totally open with him about it since our last talk about my obsession with food. Boy, do I have problems or what? I walked up behind him and wrapped my arms around his body and just allowed the tears to flow. He turned around and asked what was wrong and I cried even more and finally the words started to come out in jagged spurts of questions and rants about myself. There really was no conclusion other than the fact that by letting myself open up to him about what was going on helped to ease my discomfort. My chest eased up and my stomach calmed down. Something about confiding in him in this way unlike how I normally am made part of the problem cease to exist. He doesn't have all the answers but I trust him and know that anything he says is going to be in the best intention for all of us involved, which is far better than seeking out a stranger who charges by the hour, in my personal opinion.

Perhaps you think I'm crazy and maybe I am or is it possible that these so called problems stem from something deeper and are resurfacing as whatever you want to call this thing? All I know is that it's bullshit. Pardon my french. I have always been a strong woman with opinions about everything and willing to try new things in order to not be so bored with life. Where did that go? Is there still a fearless girl living inside this shell I call myself? I suppose I won't know unless I try. What is it they say about facing your fears? Yeah, well I'm about to get to the bottom of it and in the meantime at least I know I'm not battling this thing alone.

Money Saving Tips

I do these Daily Challenges by www.meyouhealth.com and today's challenge was to share a money saving tip with someone. I figured since I'm good at being frugal I could share the tips I use regularly and hopefully help some of you save a dime or two.

1. This one will probably get a tsk out of a few of you, but we are avid paper towel users. If you have kids or pets, it's kind of a necessity. We buy the bulk packages of 6 or 8 rolls that have different tear off sizes, usually Brawny or an off brand, whichever is cheaper. When we're eating we will take one of the half sizes and tear it 3 ways so we all have something to wipe our faces with, which is more than enough unless you're a messy eater like my daughter. This saves big time.

2. Don't buy shaving cream to shave your legs, pits, or in most men's cases, faces. We use leftover hair conditioner and it works better and is far less expensive.

3. Here's another tsk inducing money saver. We are Culligan water drinkers so we get 3 of the 5 gallon jugs filled up about once a week or so. We also have to buy bottled water to take to work with us so we will often refill our bottles using the Culligan water. Yes, we recycle but by refilling it cuts down on the cases of water we have to buy weekly, which really helps out. A 5 gallon jug refill is only $1.25 at the Culligan stations. Our city water isn't good enough to drink so we have to go this route. No judging please. :)

4. When I do laundry, which I sort of enjoy doing, I always wash a full load in cold water and I only use half of the suggested amount of laundry detergent per load. I do the same with fabric softener and  for the fabric softener sheets tear them in half. The cold water saves on energy and yes, it cleans just as well as warm or hot water and doesn't tear up your clothes quite as quickly.

5. Most of the cleaning I do I use white vinegar mixed with warm water. This cleans, deodorizes and disinfects any hard surface area. I use it to clean out the coffee pot, I sometimes substitute white vinegar for fabric softener, it makes a great fruit and veggie cleaner, and if one of us is sick I will soak our toothbrushes in equal parts vinegar and water to kill the germs. You can clean your windows, floors, counters, toilet, bathtub...you get the idea. Baking soda added makes a heavy duty cleaner for dirty showers or kitchen sinks.

6. I am not a coupon clipper but I find that if I make a list of everything we need and stick to the list we end up saving money by not adding nonsense to the shopping carts. We also buy a lot of fruits and veggies and less processed foods, which keep you full longer and saves on doctor's bills in the long run.

7. This is a HUGE money saver and I even find myself doing it at other people's houses. Turn off the light as soon as you leave a room. I don't care if you're returning within a minute, every second counts. Also, unplug anything you don't use regularly. The only things we keep plugged in are the refrigerator, stove, washer and dryer and alarm clocks. Everything else gets unplugged immediately or is connected to a power saver strip that is turned off nightly. You'd be amazed at the savings on your electric bill. Oh and those swirly light bulbs last longer and save energy better than the regular bulbs.

8. We eat out maybe once a week. Every other meal is either eaten at home or we pack our lunches to take to work and school. Jaida hasn't eaten at the school since she was in first grade. Not only does it save money but it's also healthier to not have the option to eat fast food on your break and school food...don't even get me started on that.

9. During summer when the temperatures start to rise we use a fan to help suck the central air from the back of the house and into our living room area where it tends to get warmer. I like to keep the thermostat no lower than 75 when we're gone or in bed and 72 when we're home. In the winter we keep it roughly about 66-68 degrees depending on if we're home and we do have to seal up our front windows which helps out a lot.

10. Last but not least, and I'm sure there is a ton of stuff I'm missing, but 10 seems like a nice well rounded number to end on, we stay fairly healthy all year round because of how we eat and exercise and stay hydrated so we don't visit the doctor for anything unnecessary like a cold or the flu or what have you. I get seasonal allergies and we all fall ill every now and then but when we do I make sure we take proper care of ourselves so we heal a lot faster without the need for antibiotics or prescription medicines. It's mostly common sense stuff like drinking enough water, resting, eating the right kinds of foods, washing your hands, ect.

I hope you enjoyed my money saver tips. If you'd like to add anything feel free to do so in the comment section. I'm always open for new suggestions in saving my pennies.

Past Poems

Crooked

Swimming in a sea of holes
Breathless answers waiting for
Devine admired creatures still
Reaching through another chance
To float upon an empty view
Listless... Pointless... Askew

Back to Nicholas

When I woke today
I knew this wasn't me
Stranded in the shelter of someone else
I took it as a sign
This icicle princess
Only wears her pointy shoes
Who knew
She wants it to stick
When she kicks you on your way down
She spins around laughing
"You were always so weak."
I said,"So tell me where I am."
"Honey, you've always known that."
She's my captain
The leader of this crew
She says I need to grow up
Somehow I know she's right
Always caring for someone else
When I was all that mattered
Then my dream was shattered
Into a million crystal pieces
I must leave this
Leave it all behind me
I can't seem to find me
Drifting through this mess
So she took my hand
And said follow me
"Follow me back to Nicholas."
The porch looks the same
Cold and lonely leather chair
Inside a mammoth screams
Spilling over with hate
But it was too late
I've already forgotton
How it used to be
This wasn't me...
And I grew from those cracks
The cracks in the wall
When we were so small
But that's how it was supposed to be
Yes, this is me
And she agreed.

The difference

Unexplainable painful minds
unaware of life as ruler
of all existance maturing
into mysterious creatures
with feelings masked by anger
Pangs of prideful injustice
Simpleminded doings
Race being an issue
has no environmental cure
Their confusions lack knowledge
Colorful eyes of curiosity
soak ignorance like sponges
Will we see the difference?



Too fast

Pushing it's way to the finish line
Life exceeds many goals
Moving too fast, busying itself
With lists of nonsense
Never does it stop to make you aware of
Exactly what's been absent
"Gotta keep moving. No time to talk."
Skimming through the minds of Americans
Too caught up in tasks
That still occur after we're gone
Until it's too late to hold on
I have no innocence in this
But I won't do it anymore
Life can't push me around
Work is work, Love is love
And love will be there
To carry me close
And comfort my soul



Sleeping with Spiderman

Wait. Stop. Listen...
Just this once
Who do you think you are
Walking away like that
As if I never mattered
You were only in it for yourself
You never gave a damn
Only when you wanted a piece
A piece of myself
So you could play dress up
Pretend you were happy
With a smile painted on your face
Sleeping with Spiderman
Did he ever find out
That all you were was someone else
Almost never yourself
Demanding something different
Something free
But you weren't like me
Competing endlessly
For a chance to belong
To some fantasyland
One not of your own
Now who's alone?

The Hallway

This House of Leaves
With it's dark, long passages
That breathe, expand and form
Change perceptions of the lives inside

Followed voices underground
Flare to life imagined sounds
Echoing into entropy
Further down the spiraled path

Degeneration of oneself
Curiously binding needs
Predicting full velocity
Towards creation of energy

Invisible

Only a picture now
A memory of her
Lightly tucked inside a corner
Behind the blue glass of yesterday
Instantly I smile
And remember a time
When it was better
Stitched back together
On hope as fine as silk
Upon a tiny cobweb
Of a delusional dream
Does it seem to be
Insvisible to reality?



3 Parts of Her

Didn't think it was time
Til you turned and waved goodbye
How could I have been so blind?
Why did it come to this?

One day we're laughing
Having the time of our lives
Sipping on iced cold lemonade
Til your renegade stole it away

Those hidden agendas tucked inside
A secret lie of childish rhymes
Suicide girl, depression stings
Stings enough to make you sing

Make me sing of sweet sangrias
Of time spent without you
Instant happiness comes to mind
Pills you took to hide that pride

My siren screams furiously
A hand written letter, how lovely
Lost your courage, lost your style
Found it in my pocket, after a while

I don't want this, here you go
Take it from me, before I blow
They say you're green, Is it true?
Was it just envy taking over you?

2 little fishies swim in circles
Chasing what they truly are
Fantasy island, a hidden life
Strange little girl running far
Can't grasp your own reality
Nothing concealed under these stars
Rummage through old photographs
Did he find them? Were you charged?
Searching for something, anything
Fears and lies of other scars.



Cardinal Call

I was awakened by a cardinal call
The variable songs of courtship duets
As I lay and pondered their beautiful rhymes
I dreamt of spring, of sun sublime
The squall shattered petals and carried through rain
Drops of it splattered on the side of my windowpane
Grieving quietly to soften the ground
The gust it blew those little birds around
Twisting and spinning, flapping those wings
The storm it lifted and those creatures were singing
Then this hand reached down from above
And grabbed the birds and crushed their souls
The one cardinal screamed,"What's happening here?"
While the other said calmly,"Don't worry, my dear."
This hand, it took them, far from the clouds
Where they were released to fly and continue their song
Melodies, mixed harmonies sift through my ears
I awake once more, with a new sense of relief
This time I stand and put my feet to the ground
I step to the window and sure enough, there they are
Those two, little, love birds lay still with no sound.

New skin.

Beautifully accepting
Intangible movements through
Abstract thoughts appearing
Incredibly vague, seek
Important resolutions, behind
Pragmatic theory which kills
Gratuitous emotion while
Unconsciously awaiting arrival of
New skin.

Your Catalyst

poor fragility needs stability
hearts on sleeves of growing hunger
imagine musings shattered wonder
slip passed fingertips
gently reaching outward for
humble beginnings
trapped behind closed doors
whisper still those lullabyes
painting grins upon your face
looking up to open skies
hoping for the chance at freedom
bored to death with optimism
chances taken from afar
reckless hearts, left a scar
turn a cheek when love walks in
this is now your catalyst.

Words Can Mean Anything.

Life
Beauty
Comfort
Pain
Pretty
Dizzy
Gentle
Rain
Stillness
Speaks
Peaks
Beneath
Shudder
Strength
Sad
Relief
Tiny
Fingers
Reaching
Far
Hearts
Sleeves
Open
Door
Sparks
Fly
Love
Sings
Bitter
Verses
Sweetly
Sting

Left Untouched

you've been warned
yet you dare not leave
these secret messages
whispered softly on my tongue
why won't you run?
save yourself from me
i'll only cut you down
burning bridges that once held us
safe and warm inside, blinded
by anything unreal, unnoticed
did it slip your mind?
this thing i once was
willing to hold onto every last breath
every laugh... your spark
left untouched.



Repeat

Old man
so quiet...
...so still
until
his coffee hits his lips
sip...
swallow...
...repeat
staring out the window
at buzzards eating carcasses of roadkill
...eyes shift
notices me noticing him
and i look away...
too sad to smile at such a hopeless being
(people are just people so they say)
wondering if I give off
similiar vibes
of lonliness
as I stare out the window
at empty carcasses...
til the coffee burns my lips
sip...
swallow...
...repeat

Just Be 

You drown in yesterday
with no air to breathe
I live for today
floating by on every minute
just being...me
Your lion fighting my bearer of all things
seems I'm stronger
when it comes to times like these
I may be tired
probably losing ground
but that doesn't mean anything
particularly...
Try not to wallow
for I do not wallow
and personally
it gets you nowhere...
Quit swimming
Just be.

Chameleon-like 

Your chameleon-like tendencies wrap you in blankets of someone else
waiting for the world to notice your name
in this game you play to show how cool you are today
leaving us to despise the flakiness facade
when all you want is to be needed and all you need is to be wanted
by someone who'll change you for a month, maybe two
til they figure it all out
after peeling back those layers of anything but you...
Later, you may realize that even you don't know who you are or how it got to this point.

Scared to Eat.

Am I the only one obsessing over the recent food recalls? Okay, I'll admit I do have the reminders set to email me as soon as something is deemed unsafe, but it's only natural to want to know what I'm putting into my body. Right? First it was the ground turkey tainted with salmonella back in August, then the listeria laden cantaloupe, and now my beloved spinach is under attack once again, except this time it's not e. coli. Yes, the ground turkey scare is over, I think, but that doesn't mean I'm rushing into the stores to feed my family with the stuff. We haven't eaten it in months due to this ordeal and I'm pretty sure I had friends recently sickened by Jennie O's brand. But now spinach, mostly on the west coast, is being recalled and I am certain it will somehow make it's way to Ohio and the surrounding states.
Dan recently bought a bag of spinach, from the same brand that was recalled out in California a few days ago and I go and make a hearty sandwich with the stuff. Of course I thoroughly washed it, something I almost never do, took 2 bites before realizing it was that brand. I threw the whole sandwich out and took every precaution I could as to hopefully not fall ill with a possibly bad batch of spinach. That was a couple of days ago and so far I feel perfectly healthy, but I'll be honest in saying I've worried about it the entire time. No, that bag was not recalled and I'm sure I wasted a fine bunch of spinach by throwing it away but my motto with food has always been "When in doubt, throw it out" and so I did.
What will it take for our government to make sure our food is safe before it hits the shelves? Is it wrong of me to think maybe it's another way to control population by letting these things harm and possibly kill us? I don't want to have to worry about making my family ill because the higher ups can't do their jobs. I can't be worrying about what I eat. When I told my husband about the spinach he said there's no point in worrying about what you eat because there's always a possibility you could get sick from it, but then how many times have I actually been stricken with a case of salmonella? Oh yeah, never. Is it all mere fear that the government is instilling in us and creating a bunch of unnecessary anxiety? Also, you see this happening in a lot of healthy foods of late. Are they pushing us to change our habits into being unhealthy? Maybe I'm just addicted to conspiracy theories. Who knows. What I am certain of is that this epidemic will not make me suffer. It will not bring me down or hinder the way I live my life. Everyone gets sick eventually and I guess the only precaution I can count on is making sure I take care of myself and my family so that these things don't effect us as harshly as they would others. Worrying does nothing but create negative emotions so I'm going to push them out, stop the reminders from the food recalls, and get back to being fearless.